Best. Interview. Ever.

My favourite journalist interviewing one of my favourite performers... Caitlin Moran parties with Lady Gaga. Lucky mare.

Catching up

Holidays are great but for some reason whenever I leave the country I completely fail to keep up to date with developments. A bit careless considering that when I left England for Germany last week the whole leadership of the country was in question. I should perhaps have learnt my lesson when I went to Cyprus in September 2008 and returned home to find out that Lehman Brothers had been placed into administration and RBS were in a little spot of bother.

So now I'm back and I understand that we have this historic coalition government. David Cameron is PM with Nick Clegg as his deputy. I'm actually rather excited by this development. I'm all for new experiences so having 2 parties in control sounds like it could be quite interesting. I'm also excited because I've had a quick read through the Coalition Manifesto and it all seems to be incredibly promising. I realise that making these promises and keeping them are two very different things, but we're allowed to be optimistic. Cameron and Clegg strike me as men who are keen to do well, and in order to do well they will need to achieve what they have promised. If the Lib Dems do well, they could earn more support from the electorate, possibly to the extent that they would be a serious contender for a majority government in the future. I wonder if perhaps the Conservatives failing to achieve a majority this time around has put the willies up Cameron, so to speak, so he'll be working his socks off to increase the Tories' lead in future. Either way, I think the country will be the one to benefit, and that's never a bad thing.

More Final stuff

But only because this from the Telegraph website is humourous and warmed the cockles of my heart;

Fulham's players probably don't need much motivation ahead of Big Vase final, but in idle moments (the 23 hours a day between 5.18pm and 4.18pm the following afternoon) the Fiver can't help but wonder what kind of speech their manager will give them before tonight's game. Unless he trips and sends the tray carrying his players' lovingly made half-time brew flying, it's difficult to imagine Roy Hodgson smashing tea cups off the dressing-room wall, so we reckon he'll go for a bespoke variation of Al Pacino's inch-by-inch speech from Any Given Sunday. Except without the swearing. Or the examples of self-loathing. Or the Rs.

Despite what pompom-waving fantasists like Clive Tyldesley or Andy Gray would have you believe, tonight is probably the first time in decades that an English football team goes into a European match backed by the genuine good wishes of almost everyone in the UK with a passing interest in football. "We've all been surprised and overwhelmed really, with all the support we've had," said people's prince and the king of all our hearts, Danny Murphy, dabbing the corner of one eye with a perfumed hanky.

Meanwhile in the the role of panto villains, Atlético Madrid are the side charged with shooting Bambi's mum despite winning just two out of 14 matches in Europe this season. Unfortunately for anyone hoping for mercy, the Spanish side will be packing more artillery than Sgt Eugene Tackleberry in a Police Academy climax: with Diego Forlán partnering Sergio Agüero up front, it's probably fair to say Brede Hangeland and Aaron Hughes will earn their corn. "The most important thing is that we perform well and win – it doesn't matter who scores," said Forlán, whose La Liga heroics have won him enough golden boots to shoe a centipede, albeit one that's had many of its legs amputated in the wake of a serious accident involving an inquisitive toddler.

While there can be no doubt that Atlético have the better players, only a fool would bet the farm on them beating a tireless, hard-working, patronised side that has already accounted for teams such as Roma, Juventus, Shakhtar Donetsk, Wolfsburg and Hamburg in this campaign. "If you were to ask me 'are you taking the game seriously? Do you really want to win? Have you prepared as best as you can to win? Will you be giving your all on the night? Will your players be doing everything in their power to win the game?', then the answer's 'a big, big yes'," said Hodgson yesterday, to an old German lady who had asked him for directions to the toilet.

Tonight at Hamburg's Nordbank Arena, a well-read, softly-spoken man who looks like an owl has a chance of orchestrating the end of Fulham's 131-year wait for a trophy. Inch by inch, play by play until it's over. A certain purveyor of weak, tasteless lager don't do motivational tub-thumping dressing-room spee … oh. But theirs features Steve Davis and some shoe-gazer from Kasabian, so we'll stick with Al Pacino and Uncle Roy.

(reproduced in full because of the boring bit about John Terry's injury that never was)

A night to remember - part 2

We may not have won but by golly it was amazing. How many football fans get to experience a European final firsthand? I hope the memories of the camaraderie on the coaches, the occupation of a square off the Reeperbahn and the atmosphere inside the stadium will stay with me forever. My videos didn't come out with sound but hey, that's what youtube is for;



And the opening ceremony;



It's not clear but those flags being waved each have the badge of all of the teams that competed in the Europa League this season. It still brings a tear to my eye. The pride that I feel for my team, my little football team, is absolutely enormous.

Up the Flumps!

A night to remember - part 1 (of hopefully 2)

I'm utterly speechless at the moment. From 0-1 the boys came back to win 2-1 and earn a place in the UEFA Europa League Final to be held in Hamburg on Wednesday 12th May. It's not quite sunk in and I still get a little choked when I read anything about it. Craven Cottage Newsround linked a great video of highlights and it's turned me into a Cheshire cat.

Tickets for the final went on sale yesterday and I've bought two - 1 for my uncle and another for me or someone else to go with my uncle. Why not definitely me? I'm due to fly out to Turkey on May 12th. But this is the chance of a lifetime! This'll only happen once! You're right, but my Nan paid for this holiday so I need to make sure she would be okay with me missing a day or 2. I'm sure she would but I'm worried about seeming ungrateful.

Look at it though - look!



How spectacular. Thursday night's semi final second leg will stay with me until they carry me out feet first and whether we win or lose the final it'd be a superb night and one that I would never ever forget.

And one last picture...